We have moved. Our house unfortunately will be another house sitting vacant, decaying, weathered, and shattered. Our battle with the bank is over, we played every card, we gambled, we presented our strategy and all to no avail. November 2011 was dark, shadowed by my husband's father's death, he raged, I withdrew. Amongst our friends and family, around a table of plenty, a house of love and warmth, laughter and memories, a blessing and remembrance of the children's "Gramps" we were unmoved by each other, silent.
I found company with our weekend guest, a friend from college, one of my husband's groomsmen. I found company in his attentiveness to the children, playing a game of monopoly that was stationed on the table for two full days. I laughed when he laughed. My husband begged for the same attention and I secretly cried for my husband to want to be my friend, to want to roll dough with me, to want to sit and talk about old times, to want me.
I was pregnant, trying to figure out what on earth God was thinking. I wanted to escape, move, leave, find a place of refuge.
December was dull, Christmas was frugal without the fun. The kids felt it.
January came and Cory damaged his knee, not the first time but this time an injury that wouldn't heal with rest. I spent hours searching for any home that would hold us, a three bedroom home was out of the question and four bedroom homes were scarce.
Well what I am getting at is it is a beautiful morning, there is a serene and joyful view when the storm has blown over and the puddles are drying. Last night's storm frightened me, thinking of the power of my Creator. I can feel His Almighty hands pushing us away from the edge of destruction.
